I came to the United States to get a degree and I became very worldly, very secular.  I graduated as an engineer and worked for a pharmaceutical company in Pennsylvania.  I kept pursuing the world, and in that pursuit I found no meaning: no meaning to what I was doing, no meaning to my life.  I had the education, the job, my own home, and the list goes on, but none of these things truly satisfied. You see, God was not the foundation behind all that I was doing and, as a result, I did not understand the purpose of it all. I was tired and empty, alone and isolated.

      In the midst of this sad moment in my life, when I had lost my joy, God “showed up” and helped me to realize how real His love is.  One day  I was in tears and I prayed, “Lord, if you are for real, reveal yourself to me and I’ll do anything you ask.”

      God did not hesitate to answer that prayer; within minutes a variety of circumstances made it plain to me that God was intervening to get my attention.  In this one moment He revealed how much He loved me personally and that His care for my life was much bigger and better than all that I had been pursuing apart from Him.

      After that initial experience I kept my promise and sought God with all my heart. I started going to Mass everyday.  I got rid of anything that wasn’t of God in my life. I went to confession almost every week, and through that process of penance and prayer and saying the Rosary I started to hear God’s voice, very clearly.

      In that process He asked me to leave my job. I had been working for that company for 7 years and I was vested, so this was a very hard thing to accept. At that time He kept asking me: “Anna, do you trust me?  Anna, do you trust me?”  So, on the day I was preparing to give my resignation, I prayed one more time, “Lord, are you sure?” I went to Mass that morning and the priest was  giving out a book entitled “Trusting God’s Purpose” by Edith Stein. God got my attention with that, and I turned in my resignation.

      The Lord continued to reveal himself to me in the Sacraments of the Church, especially His presence in the Eucharist.  He revealed Himself to me through Scripture.  I would read Scripture and I would write my thoughts and then I would go to daily Mass and the priest would speak on the very things that the Lord told me in my writings.  He would also show me things that went along in my day.  Scripture is very important.

      When I resigned my job I didn’t know what was going to happen to me.  I had savings, money in the bank, so I was still thinking I could be in control of my life.  But then God allowed me to get to a point where all my money was gone.  I had to live every day trusting God. Every day!  Everything was just falling apart and I had to get down on my knees.  For though He had revealed Himself to me, I still thought I could be in control.  So He had to show me who was in control.  Finally I was able to surrender to God’s love. 

      I am so undeserving of His love. I betrayed God but He showed up for me.  What has changed?  Lots of prayer, lots of getting down in my knees.   But mostly, lots of confidence in God’s love and care for me.  We have a big God, a huge God, and He will make a way where there is no way.

      Jeremiah 29:12-13 says, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  Even though I am away from my family and friends I am not alone. Jesus’ love is real.

      Jesus has asked me to share what I have experienced so that you will go deeper in your love.  And also, He asked me to recruit you to share this good news with the many people out there who don’t know God, who don’t know that Jesus Christ loves them. u